Lean on me

Jul 6, 2023

It was an extraordinary and truly remarkable experience, or rather, a beautiful adventure or discovery that unfolded before my eyes. Marlene a dynamic and humorous person who has been blind since birth, was awaiting my visit at her home.

As I arrived at Marlene’s house, I was unsure of what to expect and felt slightly apprehensive that my visit might encumber or burden her. Did I really say ‘encumber Marlene’? Not at all. Marlene warmly opened the door, welcomed me, and effortlessly guided me to the living room. She introduced me to her parents and honestly, it was I who felt a bit lost and in need of guidance during this reunion.

My intention in visiting Marlene was to understand how she copes with her inability to see, where and from whom she finds the support she needs to navigate her life, and who the pillars are in her everyday life? I am sorry, but I can’t but laugh at my ignorance or misinformation! Marlene is thriving, and many people rely on her!

1- Marlene, the teacher:

“I am a teacher at a private national school for the blind. Some of my colleagues are also blind.
In our world, hearing and touching are significantly important. We rely on them more than sighted individuals. At our school, we still use Braille as our primary language. We train students to use their hands and the sense of touch. Today, some students rely on sounds for dictation, but I believe using touch leads to better dictation skills.
I personally still enjoy reading through Braille rather than using audio books. I find pleasure in touching the words and feeling the texture rather than hearing someone read for me. I like to read and use my voice, and I appreciate the words themselves.

“Aside from teaching, I also work with the Ministry of Education. I translate the Braille material for formal exams and they use my translations to grade exams.

Discovering Braille is a wonderful experience. I would love for you to join me in this journey. Let me show you how it works.” And here I was, discovering the Braille language, and exploring the Jaws hearing program on Marlene’s Laptop!

“If you’d like, you can come and visit to see the classes. Have I mentioned that I still adore math to this day?”

2- Marlene, the school’s memory:

“My memory is my strength. I possess a unique and remarkably strong memory. The school director refers to me as the ‘school’s memory’. I have the ability to remember everything and I enjoy using and sharpening this skill, benefitting the people around me as well.

I could recall all of my father’s friends’ phone numbers. Just a few weeks ago, my father and his neighbor needed to contact a very old friend of theirs whose number they had lost. They asked me, and I easily retrieved the number stored in my mind!

As blind individuals, we tend to retain and focus more. I will provide an example: while I am working, I place the various items I use in different places. I must remember the specific location of each item in order to use them effectively, which helps me exercise and strengthen my memory. This practice also leads to order. Without a well-structured organization and routine, I would struggle to remember and accomplish my tasks. Hence, blind individuals possess exceptional organizational skills and rely on order.

If I enter a place and I notice that it is disorderly or unclean, I promptly leave. I have a strong sense for such things. When I visit a new location to teach, I request people to provide me with details about the architecture and layout, to help me move about the space easily.

A discipline schedule (Total Nizam): I walk for exactly 40 minutes after lunch and never eat any fruits at least two hours before, etc. I follow a well-planned routine throughout the day.”

3- Marlene, the secret keeper:

“Everyone confides in me and feels at ease sharing and trusting me with their secrets. I have a wide circle of friends, both blind and sighted individuals. I am open-minded and straightforward. I don’t concern myself with others’ conflicts; I neither see, nor hear, nor speak about them. I do not like to discuss what doesn’t concern me. I have a unique perspective, living and thinking in a way that suits me best; my universe is my own. Many refer to me as the ‘secret keeper’!” (katibat al asrar)

4- Marlene, the engaging creative:

“I am passionate about my work, and I love languages. I enjoy writing and speaking, and I take pride in my ability to do so eloquently. When something noteworthy occurs at school, I am often asked to write about it. I am the one entrusted with the task of discussing it. I write about it from my unique perspective, not conforming to expectations imposed upon me. I possess my distinct point of view on matters.

“I also engage in something that might be considered unconventional, I read and interpret paintings. One of my relatives is studying pedagogy, and as part of her coursework, she has to explain artworks. She describes the paintings to me and I provide explanations and meanings for them.

“Additionally, I prepare and participate in school programs, especially during events involving organizations like UNICEF or within our own school community.

“I used to collaborate with my aunt, who is a teacher at College Notre Dame de Jamhour, to create plays. She would perform these plays with the students in the school’s theatre. I particularly enjoyed writing the dialogue.

“I am a member of the school choir. Music runs in our family and we all sing and play instruments at home. My brother, who is also visually impaired, excels in playing various instruments and even performs with Wael Kfoury.”

5- Marlene, the guide:

“I often go shopping with my cousins, originally with the intention of seeking their assistance in selecting clothes for myself. However, it often turns into a situation where I end up advising them on the best outfits for them instead. Some people find this dynamic amusing, as they perceive me as the guide in this shopping journey.

“I tend to place a greater emphasis on my appearance when I go out compared to an average person. I am conscious of the elements of my look and worry about them. Why? Because I am aware that people may attribute any perceived flaw in my appearance to my blindness. There is a common misconception that being blind prevents me from looking perfect or presentable.
I am picky and hold high standards for myself when it comes to my clothes, hair, and nails.”

What would you like to add Marlene?

“We all often take our senses and body parts for granted until we experience their absence or encounter someone who faces difficulties in using them. It is when we feel pain somewhere that we realize the importance of a particular body part that we truly appreciate its value. Sometimes it takes witnessing the challenges others face to gain a deeper understanding of our own capabilities and faculties. I know a kid who needed help unbuttoning his pants. That is when I realized how my hands and my other faculties were valuable.

Many times, our conversations and complaints revolve around what we don’t have rather than acknowledging and celebrating what we have. An example of this was during the COVID-19 pandemic when people lost their sense of smell or taste suddenly and realized how important these senses were to their daily lives. As blind individuals, we approach things in a more profound manner, appreciating the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.”

What about the society in Lebanon?

“There is often an excessive level of overprotection from families. In my case, although I am perfectly capable of being independent, my parents will not leave me alone at home. The lack of independence is further exaggerate by societal factors, both due to the patriarchal nature of our world and the added challenges created by our blindness. It is important for parents, at the very least, to support and encourage our independence. Additionally, financial considerations play a significant role in determining the level of independence we can achieve.

There is a striking lack of awareness in our societies, particularly in Lebanon, where blind individuals do not feel seen or included. For instance, it may not even have been evident to you that we, as blind individuals, exist and should be considered when developing your products and services. There are indeed products available for blind persons, but they are often quite expensive and not readily accessible in Lebanon.

Finding employment as a blind individual, especially in the private sector, is challenging, more so given current circumstances. Despite some attempts to address this issue, success has been limited, particularly considering the current economic situation. The matter of employment for blind individuals has become politicized. However, there are individuals making efforts on their own to improve the situation.

I tried to work in a radio station, which is something I honestly like. I envisioned having my own show where I can discuss interesting subjects or even contribute as a voice-over artist for radio advertisements. I genuinely enjoy these roles and believe I have both the talent and passion for them. Unfortunately, I have encountered challenges in securing a job in this field. When potential employers see me, they change their minds, overlooking my abilities and potential. This treatment is unfair and disheartening. Here are a couple of subjects that I would have been interested to explore on my radio show. One would be Literature: examining its evolution and comparing works from different time periods. Another would be Art: its evolution and the intersection of art and entertainment.

Your Message:
“Just see us as fellow human beings, just like you. If you see an empty chair, give it to us, and we will gladly fill it. Give us a chance to prove ourselves! Why not!”

When I think of Marlene, a flood of images rushes back to me, one after another, passing through my mind. Being part of a lineage of entrepreneurs spanning several generations, I envision myself in my father’s company, working alongside him. I would often approach his colleagues who had been with the company since its inception, growing alongside it, and ask them to recount my father’s journey. Their stories brought me immense pleasure as I listened intently and observed their expressions of happiness and pride. They had witnessed every step, sharing tales of both beautiful moments and challenging times, recounting the trials and challenges they faced, as well as the memorable anecdotes experienced together. The company became intertwined with their lives, marked by weddings, births, family milestones, and shared events. It was a life lived, a story experienced, and a path traversed together. I yearned to be a part of it and to achieve as much.

To you, young and future entrepreneurs, who are brimming with ideas and ambitions, ready to embark on the journey of creating and building the business of your dreams. You, who have leafed through countless books and listened to numerous stories that have inspired you. You, who have your own role models and sources of admiration. I wish for you to choose ‘Marlenes’ by your side in this new adventure. ‘Marlenes’ who will not just simply pass through, but who will stand by your side like pillars, utilizing their extraordinary abilities for the benefit of the company. They will go through all the ups and downs with you, meticulously remembering what made you strong, to remind you constantly of them, while discretely burying your tireless mistakes within themselves. They will serve as guides, but without seeking to occupy more space than others. On the contrary, they will encourage you to embrace equity and diversity in your work, fostering an atmosphere of unity and well-being within the company.

My wish for you is to have ‘Marlenes’ by your side, because above all, I wish that when the time comes for you to have your own story, there will be someone there to tell it.